so today nothing much happened
just found out about eunice and jw
super disgusting please.
sigh.
but i read their blog, they do seem t be really in love
and so wonderfully openly sweetly lovingly official
it's like they don't even care what other people think and that's awesome
so oh well, hope they last long(:

though i still dont really trust that guy
but for me, love overwrites everything else
but what do i know anyway?

after that walked home with becky and ohlee
OMG BECKY AND CHEEYEO, I SWEAR, ARE TH SWEETEST COUPLE EVER
omg th way they met at th mrt station was so romantic!
he saw her, face lit up,made his way t her
she saw him, face lit up, made her way t him
and it all happened in slow-mo, even t me HAHAHAH
omg then they met in th middle and it was like they couldnt see anything else but each other

though i know becky doesnt' really like him.
lol
OMG I WAS HYPERVENTILATING AND SQUEALING LAH
it was damnnnnnn cute please
made my heart so so so warm(((:

sigh(:
oh becky(((:
my heart still flutters at th thought of them
heheheheeheheh(:

that's just about it for today .__.

oh and played 'I Have' and 'I Have Never' during amath with saw mel and hanyu
totally didnt pay attention t integration at all
lol
and something was revealed :O

which reminds me, ytd was awesome.
ily kid(:

oh and 2.4 run two days ago leaves me with aching muscles only today
after school headed down t 85 t buy bananas cos they said bananas make you have no muscle aches or smth
then after that cab t ecp where our cabbie alighted us at th wrong carpark so we had t walk all th way.

then, realising we were super early, went t th breakwater there and camwhored
being injured, i helped take photos lol
all of them were amusing and crazy from jax's point of view HAHA

th run itself was horrible
it almost rained on us lol
but lucky never haha
i ran with saw this year
i think she deproved since last year but i hope it isn't cos of me :X
anyway i'm really thankful cos she pulled me along when i was dying and that helped us score 133 and 134 respectively, me being earlier cos i chionged at th end

after that srsly want collapse lol
mel was there t support us and make our way t th class register person lol

poor kid got major stitch so didn't do well )):
nevermind
it's only napfa(:

and our class guys srsly fail
a few of them pon 2.4 go Lan wtshit

after that cabbed t simei with jax angie and vivien.

i srsly have t mug SS and geog this weekend damnit
esp SS.

and yay no piano tmr :DDD

goodnight(:
XOXO

hello
today went school all by myself for chinese oral
went there then go classroom,
me ohlee and becky began reading chinese lyrics on th chinese newspaper aloud t practise for oral

DAMN FUNNY
chinese lyrics suck man.
hero and shero, history and her story WTSHIT
damn shitty.

but it was a good laugh lol

after that quite fast this time, they call 4L go first
i was prepared for sunli, but they moved me t jiangbei, which was good cos i got sunli last year and i think she scary):

but jiangbei also quite intimidating lor
her china accent very hard t hear, i get even MORE scared and fumbled alot in my reading though i read perfectly th first time round.
then she ask me th conversation i also cannot hear properly so i talk nonsense

no, not talk nonsense.
talk nonsense still ok lor
I DIDN'T TALK MUCH AT ALL LAH
wlao i keep saying th same points over and over again in broken chinese wtshit it was horrible
jb looked disgusted with my chinese lol

sigh.

after that went for my second breakfast with becky they all
and i hope i get fat from eating so much(:

other things that happened this week, i lazy type, too tired
from blogging 2 blogs lol
i can't blog there and not blog here mah
this blog i have t keep alive till maybe end of this year
it's since my sec1 years leh lol

oh, KLL is srsly damn funny
oh yah she was telling th class some days ago about this pervert bio teacher she had in JC who loved sharing chairs with th girls and keep touching their chests
then she said, he got jailed for molesting girls some years ago also, and that he'd be quite familiar t us cos he wrote our bio textbook

then clara and angie were like OMG ITS AMANDA'S TUITION TEACHER
wtshit lol
damn embarassing haha

and my point was?
oh ya KLL is th awesomest teacher
lol

im tired
tmr got pervert bio tuition again
SIAN TTM PLZ
sigh

goodnight bye
XOXO

today has been really troubling.
started with the after-school-angeline incident.
i admit, i was really pissed and idk why i raised my voice at jax when it's angie i was pissed at.
but now okay alr lah.

OH and i failed my piano exam -,-
by 4marks wtshit
go die can Mr Examiner
srsly, GO DIE.

but anyway, kellyn said she'd still let me go for grade8
(:

now i very troubled leh.
idk why also
sigh.
mood affected by what happened in th afternoon
+ fail piano
+ jealous with kid again

strange, this time i don't even know what i'm jealous of -,-
wtshit
i think i'm really going mad.
srsly.

but i do know that it's jealousy all right.

stupid pangsehers pangsehing me tmr
thanks lah
XOXO

ytd went lunch with Angie and Jax at simei BK
then halfway got this ringing sound, didn't really take much notice of it at first until suddenly noticed got alot of people outside eastpoint looking upwards
then we kaypoh go out see also LOL
there was smoke coming out of th roof there lol

quite funny sia lol
alot of people in Eastpoint kena evacuated, even a troop of Nation maids.
then BK never evacuate us so we still sit inside and eat and watch th people outside lol
and took photos

th photos really looked like potential Oral picture discussion pictures lol

then cos before th fire, Angie took my Amath TYS t photocopy in some eastpoint shop cos Zarinah confiscated her TYS during history.
(somemore th next day is amath CT -,-)

then during fire, all shops were closed

so we took Jax's copy go another shop nearby t photocopy cos even MY tys was gone -,-
after photocopying, realised that shops were open again.
end up paid $6 plus for photocopying TYS wtshit

Stupid Zarinah.

today,
after bio, everyone literallly collapsed lol
it was a hilarious sight
there're pictures t prove lol

then kena scolded by Lam cos she caught me sitting in my old seat beside saw and melanie
and, as i had just found out, she smsed my dad regarding it LOL
and complaining that i'm a very messy girl also
lol
damnnn funny sia

and during SEL, we redid our noticeboard
Mrs Lee is damn damn damn damn nice
she prepared all th materials for us alr sia
wtshit
all we had t do was put it together
AND WTF OUR NOTICEBOARD IS DAMNNNNNNNN CHIO TTM NOW
mrs lee is awesome please.

ooh plus Lam gave us heartshaped sweets too lol
dno why th sudden kindness :/
must be something.

geog test tmr ))):
XOXO

using com in th car totally sucks
XOXO

today i learnt t play The Phantom Of The Opera's 'Think of Me' during piano lesson lol
it was wonderful(:
though th huge chords were straining my fingers.

after that went for oral
HAHA i got tam lai yin
i guess i did okay
lol

bala was almost 4 hours today
somemore he was promisng us that he'd let us off slightly earlier today
-,-

anyway it rained like mad and i was cold

oh ya last night i had many many many really vivid dreams
all in one night
i woke up and had so many vivid recollections that i wasn't too sure if they actually really happened or not
it was kind of freaky
like over 10 different dreams sia
:/

i can't freaking do differentiation ):
i tried rate of change and others just now on my tys
all fail sia
):
i think tmr i go school early consult hanyu or smth

sigh i just said th bloody wrong thing again
i keep letting my tongue slip
i know You're very sensitive t this kind of passing comments
but this is how i often communicate with others
and although i don't mean it, i say.

'you suck'
it's so common
i didn't think it'd affect You.

but still it turns out it does.

and i thought we were close enough t not get affected by nonsense like this.

now then i realise how fragile our relationship is.
like Lam's "unstable compounds"
we fight and get upset over almost all things
all things big and small

big things, okay, i understand
but small things like me saying "hurtful" stuff which aren't hurtful at all, they just aren't worth it
esp right after you just got better

"you very what leh"
"you suck!"
"omg i hate you!"
"you idiot"
"go away!"

all these, when used in joking context, is perfectly common and normal
i do it all th time

i don't actually MEAN it

i don't understand why you get so affected by them
maybe cos you have low self esteem or something
i don't know

then, i'm sorry

but you can't blame me, cause this is th way i talk.
so just get over it already.
XOXO

th past week has been effectively mindblowing.
mainly due t Kid (:
and i still want t see...
lol

ytd's KLL lesson was damn funny
LOL
th slow-mo vomit eruption, th yellow pool of shit on th school bus which was "shades lighter than jax's bag", her shoe problems, all damn funny LOL

Today rained in th morning
so cold and nice lol
made 2 treacherous journeys t th toilet and got drenched lol

Saw was in an angsty mood today until i got her hash browns
what a feizhu lol

overall, things were really horrible today
Kid got really mad at me for goodness knows what
idk if it's cos i wasted his phone batt, or i sms J, or i never delete msgs, or i was reluctant t give him my phone at first, or all of those
i srsly don't get why he's so upset over J
if he can get upset over J, there's more reason for me t get upset over E and J

like that time at KFC, Kid got mad cos i was having lunch with people he didn't want me t have lunch with
excuse me, HE HAD DINNER SITTING OPPOSITE E
which one worse, you tell me?

then now, you sms other girls can, i cannot sms other guys?
it's about homework lah, wth.
maybe if we switched roles, i'd get upset too.
but you'd have t take into consideration th person what.

but anyway it's over so i don't want t harp on it further.

i'm telling you,
even if i didn't want you anymor (which is not th case), i can't.
not after we've been through all this.
besides, i think i won't ever not want you
i think in all my years of existence, this is th first time i've fallen so deeply for a guy
i can no longer imagine what it'd be like without you

thus you cannot don't want me either.
you musn't.

i still have no idea what happened today, that made you so mad at me.
but i'd like t put it all behind.
i don't like being unhappy when i'm with you
this isn't turning out th way i expected things t be

nevermind.

ENGLISH ORAL TMR ))):
die.
XOXO

Today Amanda embarked on her Maiden Voyage To Somerset(:
it was rather boring and scary cos it's soooo far away
then th train journey also very long
so i fell asleep for abit lol

but i made it t th tuition centre in one piece(:
plus Mr Lam haven't come yet also(:
i'm so proud of myself HAHA

after i came home from tuition
everything went back t normal
just did bio and amath

damn there's bio common test next tue and i am far from prepared.
don't mention about th geog test also.
AND EMATH.
(circles and trig)

can die lah ):
XOXO

Friday was great in th sense that we could walk out of school at 2pm, and not being guilty nor worried cos you're ponning co(:

FINALLY NO MORE LONG CO PRACTICES FOR TH REST OF MY LIFE

ok i'd miss it, i'm sure, despite of everything.

1) th chio teacher and her CHIOER CLOTHES+BAGS+SHOES!!!
2) loooooonnnggggg tiring lun-ings for g major scale first string :O when i'd slack and laugh at all th others struggling(:
3) being kiasu with th other Pipas be it racing for th best bus seats or putting back Pipa after co (Rongrong owns all)
4) preparation for SYF
5) and concert
6) irritating bl with saima
7) mostly, just being th slackiest section

but still, th thought of no co still makes me (:
though it hasn't really sunk in yet

HOWEVER
it's great!
cos monday no need go sectionals (YAY YAY YAY)
so can go home early study for bio common test on tue(((:

WELLLLL ANYWAY WHERE WAS I
oh ya
friday(:
after school went t meet th rest
then went t have lunch t celebrate this joyous occasion that marks th end of CO for us(:
spent 1 hour plus deciding where t eat

in th end decided on Cafe Cartel
which was quite disappointing, but nevertheless.

all of us got enlightened by py on some disgusting fact which should never be discussed over lunch.
LOL

after that walk around for a bit then went home

tuition that night was such a rush
i was really late then dad couldnt fetch me t mrt station so i had t take a bus

then there was communication problem between me and zy
so i took th mrt myself LOL
in th end she was on th train behind me.

i was panicking cos i was really late this time
i knew it cos i was sitting opposite th YuFa guy in th train, and he's always, as in ALWAYS, late.

so in th end i met zy at bedok mrt station and i pangsehed angie HAHA and went tuition first

kang moved all of us back t th old classroom today lol
it was so cramped lah
i was sitting in some dusty dark corner ):

okay, gross.
my mom's feeding me some disgusting white fungus soup which she claims is "a highly nourishing, high-class desert"

guess what, i had t alternate between chocolate mints and fungus t get rid of th taste.
XOXO

today pon th last sectionals i will ever have
and went lunch with wk and mel
after that went around tm with them t buy notebooks and memory cards

just now was th first happiest conversation i had with K in ages
though still got ): parts
but still.

sigh(:
(((:

woah i just finished tikaming my heymath nonsense(:
passed happily(:
very happy haha.

now i'm tired.
too much math spoils my voluptuous brain(:

goodnight
XOXO

today left bala earlier cos thought wanted t go for chinese tuition
in th end after much deliberation, decided t forget about chinese tuition lol.

so went home and i did bio and smsed people t keep my mind off certain things.
that's kind of why i sent almost a hundred smses today DDD:
confirm burst this month one):

i'm not gna sms anymore next week!

anyw.
these 3 days have been hell
i don't know why he's doing this t me
i srsly don't.

i'm fucking tired of being angry alr
it's been 3 days.
who wouldn't be?

i let him go today.
although i didn't want t
but who was i t stop him?

him, Z, J and E
i bet it looked so much like a double date.

i didn't want t think anymore, so i went t sleep.

woke up, he told me it had ended, was going t dinner with them.
i had a sudden vision and it looked even more like a double date and i was so heartbroken and so fucking jealous.

it's not like i didn't trust him
i trust him with all my heart
it's just that i don't like th thought of him sitting opposite another girl (even if she was my friend) having dinner.
i srsly don't like it.

of course i had promised i wouldn't get upset
so i didn't appear upset t him at all
in fact i think i did a rather good job actually(:

i'm feeling much better now anyways.
just that now i don't know how i can talk t E and pretend everything is fine.
maybe i can
idk
i often surprise myself(:
XOXO

"Bob loves Sally. Alot. Bob would do anything for Sally. He would ask about her whenever he thought she was upset. He would always and always be there for her whenever she would need somebody. He would leave little notes and reminders around, to show her that he cares. His heart would break whenever she cried. Her pain would be his. Just that maybe he'll feel twice the pain, cause he knew that no matter what he did he couldn't make her feel better. But, he'll still try anyway. He'll make a fool of himself if it would just make her smile. He'll wear a silly hat and put up with the teasing if that made her smile too. But Sally ignored him. She treated him like dirt and was part of the group that mocked him. He didn't care though, he loved her.
One day this student goes crazy and starts shooting everybody, cause he was sick and tired of being picked on and he wanted to teach all those people a lesson. Turns out that Sally was someone who had made fun of him once before. He yells Sally's name and demands that she come out, or he'll go to her. Bob stands up and says he'll take Sally's place. The student stares at him skeptically, wondering what on earth that crazy boy is talking about.Bob sees this hesitation and starts talking He says: you want a life, i'll give you mine. In all seriousness. The boy is scared and confused, but he sees the look in Bob's eyes and agrees. Bob tells him to do whatever he wanted to do to Sally to him. The boy pulls his hair. Slaps him and punches him and kicks him. Bob doesn't fight back even though he's got a black belt in karate and could easily win the guy. He hurls insults at Bob. Bob closes his eyes and grits his teeth. He would tolerate this humiliation, this pain. For Sally. Finally, the guy fired. He didn't hit his heart, but he hit near it. When the shot was fired, the teacher's came running. Everything was in a mess while the authorities treid to clear everyone away from the scene. The boy was caught and brought away and someone called the ambulance. Bob knew it was too late though. He could feel his blood seeping out of the wound. He could feel his body weakening. He took one last look at the retreating figure of a girl. She was laughing with her friends as though nothing had happened, as though everything was normal. His heart sank, she hadn't even turned to take one last look at him. The pain he felt was way worse then what the boy had dealt to him. She had hit his heart. With that, he took his last breath and everything blacked-out.
Bob had died in place of Sally and she didn't give a care in the world.
Oh what love. "

major heartbreak );
XOXO

April Fools' Day, and what a fool i'd been.

today came into class, noticed that my table looked suspiciously naked.
jax saw and shayting told me that Lam ytd complain my table too messy, and confiscated all my books away
yeah right
within minutes i found my mountain of books below th teachers table -,-

now there's a real tall mountain sitting on top of my table and i do my work behind it lol
but i think clara has disposed it onto th floor alr ):

i don't care, jax better put it all back where it came from (and even better) on monday ):

OHMYGOD THEN AFTER THAT.
AFTER THAT.
TH GREATEST CALAMITY OF TH CENTURY HAPPENED BEFORE MY VERY EYES DDD;
(which i'm unable t disclose till next monday)
i'm still currently very traumatized with th loss of this valuable companion.

anyw today was screwed up either way
chinese, i made a terrible mistake but i alr asked mel, so it's solved.
but that mistake carried out throughout th whole day ):

becky is damn retarded oh god i completely forgot how retarted she could get lol
quite amusing and was making like quite alot of noise during chinese test LOL

after that was mdm ee's geog period DDD:
had th laser pointer thing, then ohlee and becky were being perverted with it -,-

and i saw what seemed like flirting t me, during geog also
which kind of affected me during th beginnings of chem Olevel SPA afterward ):

i hate wearing goggles ):

after chem spa, went tampines eat lunch with friends for th first time in ages lol
ok not that long ago actually, but it wasn't recent either.
had McZarinah's and i got really really emo and sad but thanks for cheering me up(:

saw angie clara all had guy problems also so i didn't feel so alone.

on th way t audrey's, met chris, and she also cheered me up, thanks alot mother <333 size="1">idk why i'm becoming like this
it's kind of scary.
i don't know why i'm so bothered with th other girls when i know you won't cheat on me or anything.
but i still am.
i don't know why.

i don't get why you can be close t other girls and yet get angry when i'm merely good friends with J.
he's not like any other guy, as you know -,-
then those girls you are close with are pretty and smart and everything i'm not.

or maybe cos th things you do with them are things you never do with me.
like, i don't know, cycling, watching movies, going t church, celebrating their birthdays, just t name a few.
even in school, you don't talk t me as much as you talk t them.

i think i'm being really really really retarted and stupid.
but all this is making me tired.
really really tired.
i don't know how long more i can keep up with this.

but even when i can't, i know i'd still love you.
XOXO